You and your friends are the worst possibly judges of your work.
You have two options. One will cost you money. One will cost you time, effort, and perserverance.
The first is to hire a professional editor to read and critique it.
The second is to find someone who probably has similar skills to a professional editor (like a literary or English teacher at a community college) ask if they will critique it, and perhaps offer to trade them some form of labor for their expertise.
After you get that critique, you have at least three more edits, and perhaps a second editorial pass on it before it may be ready to be published.