I came across this answer today while scrolling through Quora. Last month, an answer by the same author on a similar topic became a topic of discussion among Quora users.
And after reading this answer, I would like to share an incident.
My ex-husband was having an extra marital affair with an unmarried girl. He told me about his affair, I said okay let's get divorced, and you can continue with your affair. We agreed to get separated after his exams will get over.
Now for me, my ex and his affair partner, everything was sorted. Things were tensed of course but we accepted the situation and decided to move on.
But a few days later, my ex told me that today he had visited his gf's place, and their parents got to know about their affair, and they physically assaulted her in front of him, and asked him to leave. Her mother was crying and cursing her daughter for ruining their family's name.
Now, can you even imagine the amount of shame and guilt the girl's parents had to suffer after learning that their daughter is having an affair with a married man who is still living with his wife?
How would you make the girl's parents understand, in this situation, that this man is unhappy in his marriage and has found happiness and solace with their unmarried young daughter?
Even the author herself mentioned in her old answers that her ex-husband was having an affair, she was left heartbroken after knowing this.
In her case why didn't she choose to stay in her marriage and find someone else to have an affair with?
Instead, she decided to walk out of her marriage, like any mature person would do in such situation.
Developing feelings for someone else or falling for someone while you are married is not a matter of ethics and values. It's a basic nature of humans to desire love and respect.
However, knowing that you love someone else and choosing to continue the relationship as an extramarital affair is unethical. As marriage is an institution that is built on commitment and ethics.
If everyone started having affairs while being married, then we will left with a fucked up society and emotionally and mentally damaged kids.
Moreover, what's even the point of having the system of marriage then, when you know if things won't work out then you can always have the option of having an affair with someone else.
I am really not able to comprehend why there is a need to coming up with stories just to prove the point that extra marital affair is okay in certain circumstances.
Whatever the circumstances are, extra marital affairs are ugly, messy, cluttered and chaotic. Not just for the partners but also for the children and families involved.
If your partner is abusive then instead of finding someone else to get into a relationship, first get yourself out of your situation.
And if your are a man and your wife is abusing you then then don't seek advice from people to continue with your affair. File a complaint against your wife instead of indulging in an extramarital affair. Because if your wife found out about your affair, your wife can file for a divorce on the ground of adultery and mental torture. And even though your wife is abusing you, she can charge you for domestic violence and your whole family will have to bear the consequences in this case.
She also has the right to claim alimony from you, and if your kids decided to be on their mother's side then you may have to provide them with monthly maintenance. And you might also have to bear the maintenance of her pets also.
And remember high number of followers is not always equally proportional to intelligence and common sense.
Thank you for reading!